The Divorce Diva
Dumped and Dumper
So, girls... We’ve all been dumped one way or another at some time. You may have heard one of the following regarding why you were being dumped: “It’s just not the same. We’re always fighting.” The Divas’ translation: You’re not young, innocent, and ignorant of my...
Holiday Sales and Uppers
Black Monday. Holiday marketing has gone off the deep end. Black Friday on Thursday is not enough. It's been extended to Monday and beyond. Soon, we will be living in a perpetual Black Friday world. And like Bill Murray in Ground Hog Day, we will be forever running...
Here We Go Again—Thanksgiving Carb Binge
Every year I say: I'm not going to eat apple pie, stuffing, mashed potatoes, an appalling assortment of homemade cookies, holiday candy, and cinnamon pumpkin bread until it's coming out of my ears and I can't sit up straight in a chair. But I do it. Every year. I say:...
Why Is It Already Christmas Before It’s Halloween?
So, girls, I am shopping—of course I'm shopping. It's October, and I went to the local grocery/clothing/everything store to stock up on cold-weather essentials such as hot chocolate with those tiny little marshmallows. Roaming past the Halloween section—which by the...
Is He Cheating on You?
Do you suspect your man is whooping it up with someone else? Of course, men being men, this is a risk we women take whenever we hook up with that half of the species. Caveman prompts just don’t seem to go away. Evolution apparently hasn’t seen fit to discard its fear...
So, You’ve Been Dumped…
What now? Do you stay in bed all day eating tubs of ice cream, watching Danielle Steel movies and bawling your eyes out? Yes. Do you kick your ex’s door down and beat the crap out of his new girlfriend and cut off his (never that great) penis? No. Do you write pages...
Black Friday on Thursday. What?
Okay, so I went to Walmart on Thanksgiving night because: 1. There was nothing else open and I needed coffee, without which getting up in the morning is not possible, and I wasn’t keen on spending the rest of my days in bed. 2. I thought, No one will be there. They’ll...
The 4-H Club: Hurt, Humiliated, Hostile, and Horny
If you have ever been dumped, you know what I’m talking about. You’re going along just fine, dealing with the ups and downs of your relationship. Maybe more downs than ups. Okay, so you were constantly complaining about the way your man hogged the remote, or farted in...
Stop Aging…Now!
Okay ladies, admit it. You hate aging. I know I do. And I have a remedy for aging that you are going to LOVE. First, a few legitimate complaints: Here’s what THEY say about aging, and it’s all bollocks: • Gray hairs look good on you. (Bollocks!) • Age doesn’t matter....
Fifty Shades of Stupid Sex
Yes, my totally awesome girlfriends, I am capitalizing on that famous book title to get you to read what I have to say about boyfriends and husbands, their shortcomings (oooooh--what metaphors surface in my sarcastic mind for that word) and our endless struggles as...
His Roving Eye
You’re probably right. He does have a roving eye. How do I know this? Because he’s a man. Because he has mind-numbing levels of testosterone and a second brain which takes over whenever scantily clad hotties are within sight. To be fair, girlies, he just can’t help...
Should You Take Him Back?
The short answer, my totally awesome female friends, is . . . NO. And yet, why not give your ex a chance, or a second chance, or another in a long series of chances before hitting him over the head with a sign that says: What part of over don't you understand? or...
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